Sharing the Life-Saving, Dramatic Drug Intervention as Told by the Family

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TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1:
The Addiction Podcast – Point of No Return.

Joanie Sigal:
Hello, everyone, and welcome to The Addiction Podcast – Point of No Return. My name is Joanie Sigal and I’m the host for this podcast. My husband, Steve Sigal, is the producer for the podcast. Just a reminder to please subscribe to our podcast wherever you listen to them and give us a five-star rating. That way, when someone searches for podcasts on addiction, they will find us because Google will bring us up. Also, please subscribe to our YouTube channel. Ever since January 2021, I think it is, maybe 2020, we’ve been videoing our interviews, and sometimes it’s nice to watch them while you listen as well. Please subscribe to our channel, give us a thumbs up on our videos, and also ring the bell so you’ll be notified when we have new videos that are produced and posted.

Joanie Sigal:
Today’s interview is a little different than one we have done recently. This is an interview with several people, and it is about an intervention, a successful intervention that was done. And we thought you might like to hear from, not only the interventionist, Bobby Newman, who is a regular on our podcast and an advertiser on our podcast, but also hear from the family of the former addict and the former addict herself.

Joanie Sigal:
So please enjoy our podcast today with Bobby Newman, and I will introduce the rest of the members of the podcast. Bobby Newman, interventionist par excellence, thank you, not only for being on the podcast today, but also for bringing our guests. Thank you for doing that. Bobby, tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. We’ve had you on a couple different times and we love having you on and telling your stories, but so just give everybody a little background on you.

Bobby Newman:
Well, I’m from a small town in Southern Oklahoma. And when I say small, I mean, a lot of times, I’ve talked to people and they’ll say, “Oh, I’m from a small town,” and “Oh, it’s got about 5,000 people,” and I’m talking 648 people in the town that I lived, grew up in, graduated high school from. And I’m in rural Oklahoma and got into drinking and then eventually smoking weed and then got into other stimulants when I was in college, and it led me to… By the time I was 35 years old, I was looking at seven years in a federal penitentiary and was put into… I had an option of either, A, going to prison or, B, going to rehab. And fortunately, I chose the smarter of the two options and went into rehab.

Bobby Newman:
And then as I went through the program, I got into prevention and then it eventually led into other things, and I got into interventions later on and actually had been helping people for over 20 years now.

Joanie Sigal:
I was going to say, how long have you done it? So over 20 years. And you, if I remember correctly, you have a pretty high success rate on the interventions that you do.

Bobby Newman:
Yeah, it runs about 85 to 90% of the time the person is going to enter treatment, and that’s across the board, considering all aspects of the scenarios, all that different types of scenarios from people that live on the streets and people that live at home and just any type of scenario. The average is 85 to 90% of the time, they go to treatment.

Joanie Sigal:
Right. I know that we could probably spend the whole day just talking about all the different stories that you have. However, thank you for bringing to us our guests today because, for everybody listening, you’re going to actually get to hear from the family and also from the former addict in terms of Bobby’s intervention and how it went down. So Bobby, tell us who we have on the podcast today.

Bobby Newman:
Well, I’m going to start with mom. There’s Tammy Johnson, and then there’s the uncle, Brian Vaillancourt, and then there’s the grandmother, Diane, and then the star of the show is Lexie Johnson.

Joanie Sigal:
Awesome. So Lexie, let’s start with you. Give us a little background on how old you were when you got into drugs, kind of how it progressed, where you ended up, what your drug of choice was.

Lexie Johnson:
So, I mean, like any other teenager, you’re like, “Oh, people are smoking weed. Let’s try it.” At that point, it really wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t turning to it every day. I wasn’t depending on it. It was like, “Oh, that’s cool.” I wasn’t really a huge fan of it. And then about 18 years old, I believe if I’m doing my numbers correct, so what I would do is, when I had my special time of the month, I would get oxys off of my boyfriend’s mother, and it would help because the cramps were so bad. And by the time that would be over, I wouldn’t be addicted to it or anything. I know you shouldn’t be doing that, but I was.

Joanie Sigal:
But Lexie, would she give them to you or you would just take them?

Lexie Johnson:
It depended on the month. So if she didn’t have any money, I had to pay her for them. If she did have money, she would just let me have them. And it was only one or two and I would space it out just to get me through the day. And my story is a little interesting because the drug that put me in rehab wasn’t by choice per se. So I had started snorting the oxys because I could do less of them and I would get the same effects, and then one would last me the duration versus needing three from putting the whole pill in your mouth.

Lexie Johnson:
And the one time, my ex was putting heroin in with it, because that’s what his drug of choice was at the time. And by the time that week was over, I stopped doing it because I didn’t need it anymore and I was like, “Why do I feel like this?” And at the time, I wasn’t really a strong enough person to walk away and say, “I’m just going to get through it now before it’s too late,” and one thing led to the next, and then it was like two and a half, three months later. And all of a sudden, I was being bombarded by family members from all different angles. So yeah, that’s kind of a little bit of the background.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. So you were then using heroin on a regular basis?

Lexie Johnson:
Yeah, because I was already addicted to it, and the withdrawals were pretty crazy.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. So how old were you then when you would say you were full-on addicted?

Lexie Johnson:
I think I was 19 turning 20.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Lexie Johnson:
And then they got me sort of…

Joanie Sigal:
It’s okay.

Lexie Johnson:
Somewhere around there.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood. So Tammy, were you aware of what was going on with her or what was your first clue that something was going on?

Tammy Johnson:
So a couple of her friends had told me that she was dabbling in drugs. And she was living home at the time, so I was like, “All right. Well, I can see her every day.” I was watching and I’m like, “Well, maybe there’s a few signs here and there.” And there’s one day that I was definitely really scared, was the day that she passed out, literally laying across her bed like this. And she wasn’t on the bed, but she wasn’t off the bed. And I bumped her pretty hard and she didn’t wake up, and I’m like, “This is not good. This is not good.”

Tammy Johnson:
So I bumped her harder and she woke up and she just said, “Oh, I’m just really, really tired.” So I just kind of filed that at that point because I’m like, “All right. Well, something’s going on because this isn’t my daughter.”

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Tammy Johnson:
And then I started to just kind of watch everything. At one point where there was a time that was kind of… Another kind of scary time like that, and I confronted her about it. And if you know anything about my daughter, she doesn’t take confrontation very well. Her go-to is to run away. So at that point, when I confronted her, she took off with Tyler and then I was really scared because now I couldn’t see her. And then I’m like, “Okay. I need to start doing some research. How can I help her?” Because I know I need to help her because it’s just like, this isn’t my daughter.

Joanie Sigal:
Right. And Tyler was her boyfriend, right?

Tammy Johnson:
Tyler was her boyfriend.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. Brian, how did you get involved, and Diane? How did you guys get involved in this?

Brian Vaillancourt:
She wasn’t showing up to any of the family functions or anything like that, and she used to always be there.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. And so, did you talk to Tammy or did you confront Lexie? How did it go from there?

Brian Vaillancourt:
We all kind of got together to try and figure out what was going on. And we were told several times that she was at certain locations. So once we found out where she was, we’d go out looking for her and she wasn’t there. She’d already moved on to another place and stuff like that.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. Diane, you were going to say something?

Diane:
And then Bob came in and kind of steered us in the right direction, what to do.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood.

Diane:
The main thing was getting her out of that house and away from them.

Bobby Newman:
Right.

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Diane:
So I had to make up a lie about my mom being sick and that Lexie needed to go see her. And then Tyler says, “Well, I’m going too,” and I said, “No, she doesn’t want anybody.” And he just kind of locked me out after that because I think he knew.

Joanie Sigal:
Exactly. Divide and conquer at that point.

Diane:
Bob called me and said… Bob says, “Okay. Tyler’s gone. I already turned him in.” So the cops took him away and that was my chance, and I flew up there, got her out of the house, and brought her down to my house, my mother’s house and mine, and that’s when we started the intervention.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. So Bobby, when did they contact you, or who contacted you? How did that go down?

Bobby Newman:
I got contacted by the treatment center that she went to at Narconon Arrowhead. The management at Narconon, they called me to help Tammy, and then they put me on the phone with Tammy, and then we worked out how we were going to pull this off. We started the process of putting together the intervention. That’s how it started.

Joanie Sigal:
So take us through that. Tell us what you do there. I know we’ve heard about it just from your viewpoint, but what did you do?

Bobby Newman:
Well, one of the things that Tammy had worked out, this is the program that she wants and then they put her in touch with me and then we talked about… I don’t remember. I remember the conversation we had at your house when I got there. I don’t remember the conversation we had necessarily on the phone, but I remember arriving and meeting you at your house and meeting your friend and talking to you and asking some questions, and I’m in the back of my mind thinking, “How the heck am I going to pull this off? I got nothing to work with. I don’t even know where this girl is at, but I got to help this woman. I got to help this family.”

Bobby Newman:
So that’s kind of what was going through my head. It worked out beautifully and everybody worked wonderfully, but it was definitely one of those things, I was scratching my head going, “Okay.”

Joanie Sigal:
So what was the plan? I mean, Tammy, how did that happen? Because he doesn’t even know where Lexie is. Did you know where Lexie was at the time?

Tammy Johnson:
So I had a couple of inklings. So we had been scouting her and knowing a couple of the friends. We would do some research on their addresses. So I have this thing called Whitepages where you can look up people. So it’ll give you a general idea of where they are. At that point, I was actually… So Lexie and Tyler disappeared. So Tyler’s mom contacted me because she was scared, and I kind of just said to her, I’m like, “Oh, now who’s scared because they can’t find their child?”

Joanie Sigal:
Ah.

Tammy Johnson:
And it was like, so I kind of befriended her to trick her into helping me find Lexie, not telling her the whole thing of what my plan was, because I had done some research and I knew a 30-day program was not going to help my daughter.

Joanie Sigal:
Very good point.

Tammy Johnson:
So I knew that a 30-day program, and if I didn’t get her out of here, he was going to get his clutches back into her and there’s no way I was going to help her.

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Tammy Johnson:
I’m like, “I have one shot at this.”

Joanie Sigal:
Yup. Lexie, you look like you wanted to weigh in with something. I saw your little hand go up.

Lexie Johnson:
Hi, chubby. Yeah. No. So I don’t know exactly at what point either. So at one point, there was also conversation between my mom and my ex on my phone. And one day, I woke up and there was one message, the only message that I saw, and it was, “If you come back, I’m changing the locks. If you come back here, I’m calling the cops.” Now, mind you, I thought it was for me because it was on my phone. It was under my name. And so, that definitely didn’t help with them trying to locate me because I was like, “Well, now I have no one. I don’t even have my mom on my side.” So I just wanted to add that little piece in there.

Joanie Sigal:
I get it. I get it. So it sounds like, Diane, did you come up with a bright idea about telling Lexie that your mom was sick or was that Tammy’s idea?

Diane:
Yeah. I kind of said, “She’s going to come and see her great-grandmother.” If anything, that’s who she’s going to go see.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. So Lexie, you obviously believed it that your great-grandmother was sick and that you had to go see her, correct?

Lexie Johnson:
I don’t know how much I believed it, but for me, if I hadn’t gone and she really was sick, I wouldn’t have been able to live with that with myself more than anything, because they knew my great-grandmother was the world to me.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood.

Lexie Johnson:
And I’m very grateful I got that extra almost two years, two and a half years with her. I’m very grateful.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. And she’s passed on, right?

Lexie Johnson:
Yeah. She passed away almost a year ago.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh, I’m sorry.

Lexie Johnson:
Yes.

Joanie Sigal:
So Brian, were you involved in this process there? Did you restrain the boyfriend?

Brian Vaillancourt:
No, I tried finding him.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Bobby Newman:
That’s a funny story.

Joanie Sigal:
And were you successful? Did you find him?

Brian Vaillancourt:
I found his location a couple of times, but by the time anybody went to go see about them, they were already gone. They were bouncing around, so it was hard to keep track of them.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood. Lexie, is he still addicted as far as you know?

Lexie Johnson:
I mean, based off of evidence, I would say there is a 99.9% chance that he is still doing drugs.

Joanie Sigal:
That’s too bad. Okay. So you got her, you got Lexie where you wanted her. Bobby, what happened then?

Bobby Newman:
Well, it was funny because… I feel the need to tell this story because we knew nothing going in and we didn’t know where she was at, and it was like, “Okay. Who does she hang out with?” And the only thing that… I remember talking to you, Tammy, at her house and she told me about a friend that worked at a pizza shop. And I can’t remember the friend’s name, but he worked at the pizza shop. So I went down to the pizza shop and I sat there for about, I don’t know, four hours and I’m listening. And I talked to this one kid about… I thought, “Well, I better have some food.” So he gave me this recommendation on some chicken wings and I ate the chicken wings and I’m fiddling around there.

Bobby Newman:
And I can’t remember, but I’m waiting to hear, and I thought, “Well, I don’t know how much longer I’m going to sit here.” And finally, a local guy came, a regular comes in and he says the kid’s name. And the kid was the one who was managing the place. So I thought, “Well, that’s the kid I’m looking for. That’s the friend.” So I waited for him and I sat out in my car and I waited for him, but he was the manager of the little pizza shop.

Bobby Newman:
So I go in and I wait for him to come out, and I said to him, I said… Then I said his name. I can’t remember his name, and I said, “Do you know Tyler and Lexie?” And he goes… I could see the look on his face he did. And I’m like, “So it would be in the best interest for Tyler and Lexie if Lexie were to let her family know where she’s at, just be in the best interest of everybody.” And I told him the story about these kids that had gotten pulled over and there was drugs in the car, and it happened and I said, “There was a kid in there.” I acted like it dawned on me that, “Oh yeah, got the same name.” I want to say his name was Ryan, but I’m not sure.

Bobby Newman:
But anyway, I said, “Was that you?” He goes, “Oh no, that wasn’t me.” And I said, “Oh well. Oh, okay, well, you don’t seem like that kind of kid anyway,” and I went on. Well, he didn’t know who I am. He didn’t know if I’m the FBI or what. So it was about 30 minutes later, Tammy calls me and said, “I don’t know what you did, but…” Because then I guess they were calling her and saying, “Hey, she’s here. She’s okay.” And so, we knew where she’s at. So then I talked to the rest of the family and we came up with the idea that Diane was going to go over and try to get her out of there. And that’s what happened.

Bobby Newman:
But I went over to… I got the location and I drove down the street and I’m driving down the street, and I see these two kids sitting on the side of the road. They’re huddled up on the side of the road. I don’t know if even Lexie knows this now, but I took a picture of them and snapped it and I sent it to Tammy and I said, “Is this her?” And she said, “Yeah.” And so, that’s her. And so, that’s when we came up with the plan for Diane to go over, and that didn’t work. Well, I thought, “Well, what the heck?” And I went over and talked to Brian. I don’t know if you remember this or not, Brian, but I talked to you and your friend out there behind your house, and out there, you had a fire going.

Brian Vaillancourt:
Yeah.

Bobby Newman:
And he said, “You give me until eight o’clock in the morning. I didn’t know about this till today, but if you’ll give me till eight o’clock in the morning, we’ll handle the boyfriend.” Then they started asking me… I was being asked by others, “Well, what does that mean?” I said, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” I’m not asking. I knew he meant what he said. I had no doubt that the boyfriend was not going to be a problem.

Bobby Newman:
So I went back over and I thought, “Well, I don’t have anything to do.” So I went back over and I wait. I was waiting around and I saw these kids. They come back down the street. They’re outside. And I parked right there. I don’t know if they still… She doesn’t know this, but I watched them for probably 45 minutes. And then I was on the phone with somebody else, and then Tyler made a deal with somebody else, and then I called 911. I think I called, might have talked to Diane. I think I called Diane, and she’s like, “Well, can you call 911?” And I said, “I don’t know. I’m not going to get my hopes up, but I’ll try.”

Bobby Newman:
And just the timing was impeccable because they showed up. And then by the time Tyler and Lexie made it back down the street, the police went down there and yanked, got him and carted him off, which that’s what I called Diane back, and that’s how that happened. But anyway, that’s not the question you asked me, but that’s the story.

Joanie Sigal:
No, but it’s a great story. Yeah. Okay. So now you’ve got Tyler out of the picture, so to speak. Tell us then about the intervention. What happened then? You realize obviously, Lexie, that this was not all about your great-grandmother, correct?

Lexie Johnson:
I kind of knew. I mean, I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I kind of knew. And I also knew, because in the situation that we were in, I was like… So it’s funny because my ex, when he slammed the door in her face, that pissed me off.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh, okay.

Lexie Johnson:
I was mad, because that’s my family.

Joanie Sigal:
Yeah.

Lexie Johnson:
At the end of the day, my family is still my family regardless of what’s going on.

Joanie Sigal:
It was in Diane’s face? He slammed the door in Diane’s face?

Lexie Johnson:
I’m pretty sure that it was yours, right?

Joanie Sigal:
Yup. She’s nodding. Yup.

Bobby Newman:
Yeah.

Lexie Johnson:
Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t in view, so I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he turned around and he was like, “They’re going to try to trap you. They’re going to try to take you from me.” Talking all sorts of craziness. And I was just sitting there almost dumbfounded like, “What is going on right now?” It was almost like I was the tug toy between two dogs, and which one was stronger. And so, then my grand-

Diane:
I was.

Joanie Sigal:
I’m going to put my money on Diane. I’m just saying. I don’t know Tyler, but I’m going to put my money on Diane.

Lexie Johnson:
My mom always says, “He might have won the battles, but I won the war.”

Joanie Sigal:
There you go.

Lexie Johnson:
And so, when my grandmother had came back, obviously they were still playing along with the whole, “My great-grandmother was sick and ill.” And another thing that helped boosted along with me choosing to go with her was, my great-grandmother actually called me at one point and said that if I didn’t come see her, then she didn’t want to ever see me again.

Joanie Sigal:
Ooh.

Lexie Johnson:
So that one hurt.

Joanie Sigal:
Yeah.

Lexie Johnson:
That one hurt.

Joanie Sigal:
Yup. Maybe even more than changing the locks. I don’t know. That’s a tough one.

Lexie Johnson:
Yes. Yeah. Well, no, I’d say those are pretty equal because… Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Yeah. I get it.

Lexie Johnson:
And then I remember, so I went and I got ready and I put on some clothes and stuff. And I remember going down and my grandmother was like, “Do you know how to get out of here?” I don’t know. I don’t really know if I know how to get out of here. I was like, “I can look it up for you.” She goes, “No, that’s okay.” And I later found out it’s because of all the messages between Bobby and her and my mom and Uncle Brian, and she didn’t want me to see them. She goes, “I think I recognize this bridge,” and I’m sitting there going, “Yeah, okay.”

Joanie Sigal:
Because I take it you were in a part of town that was not known to your mom and your grandmother and your uncle.

Lexie Johnson:
Yes.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. So where did the intervention actually take place?

Lexie Johnson:
So my grandmother owns a duplex and my great-grandmother was living on the other side, and it happened on the other side in my great-grandmother’s living room. And I remember I was walking in, and all of a sudden, my uncle pops out of one corner. I go out the front door. Some stranger, who’s now known as Bobby, comes in through the front door, and then we sit down and it took a little because I’m assuming my mom was trying to gather herself before my mom walked in. And I remember sitting there going, “What the hell is going on here?”

Joanie Sigal:
Understood. And Diane, were you part of the actual intervention? Were you in on that as well?

Diane:
Yes, I was.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Diane:
I had to get her out first, and then took her straight. And the reason why I didn’t want her picking up my phone was because of all the messages, and I said, “No, I think I know,” but I was trying to stall and go really slow so they all had time to get to my house to do the intervention.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood.

Diane:
So I said, “I think I know my way,” and I just drove really slow. I mean, I wasn’t even doing the speed limit.

Joanie Sigal:
And well done you for doing what it takes. I mean, all three of you. It’s not pleasant, necessarily, to get your loved one out of that type of situation. And well done you, Diane. I don’t know that I would like to meet you in a dark alley because-

Diane:
I just want to see Tyler.

Joanie Sigal:
… you are one tough cookie. I’m just saying. Okay. So Bobby, then back to you. Walk us through what you did there. So now you’ve got Brian and Diane and Tammy all there. Talk to us.

Bobby Newman:
Well, we had talked about different scenarios because we were really kind of flying by the seat of our pants. We didn’t have total control of what we were… But until Diane was able to get her in the car and on the way, then we were like, “Okay.” And then everybody goes into action. And these guys did… Getting the family to work together and telling the dos and don’ts, it’s a really… What we’re operating off of is a really good guess. We’re going to do the best we can. It’s not going to be perfect. We’re going to do the best we can.

Bobby Newman:
And once the family knows what to do and what not to do, they usually figure it out for themselves, and this is a classic example. These guys did exactly what they needed to do. And I don’t even know that… I can’t even think of any hiccups except for the ticket I got and the flight on the way, but we were already out of there, but everything was great.

Bobby Newman:
So we sat down and we basically explained to her how we felt. I mean, the family did anyway. We care about you. We love you. We care about you. And we see you’re slipping away from us and we don’t like it, and we want to prevent that from happening. That was essentially what they said to her. And you could tell by looking at her that that was a big impact on her.

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Bobby Newman:
When the intervention was going, it was like, you could tell this was really… Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
And I think one of the things you’ve said, and I think you said this even when we were talking beforehand, is that you have to have all of the family members in agreement and on the same page that they will do and say whatever they need to say and do to get the person to agree to go to treatment. Is that correct?

Bobby Newman:
That’s right. That’s right.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. Diane, yes? Whoop, Diane was first, Lexie.

Lexie Johnson:
I know what she’s going to say.

Diane:
I had to promise her and go on a plane. I’ve never flew on a plane. I was petrified. And the only way she would go was if I went on the plane and took her.

Joanie Sigal:
Wow.

Diane:
So I swallowed my pride and did it.

Lexie Johnson:
I said, “If I’m going to rehab, you’re going on a plane for the first time.”

Joanie Sigal:
Wow. And you did, Diane? You confronted her and you went?

Diane:
I did. Hey, my kids and my grandkids are everything to me.

Joanie Sigal:
And you make a good point. It’s like, you do whatever you have to do-

Diane:
That’s right.

Joanie Sigal:
… as a family member. And maybe some people listening don’t realize how far they might have to go, but there you go. So Lexie, what was the point at which when they were all talking to you that you thought to yourself, “I guess I better do this”?

Lexie Johnson:
Well. So I kind of always knew that I needed to get help. I never knew how to ask for it, because my mom said I’m not very good with confrontation and I never liked to get in trouble. And so, I almost essentially felt like I was going to get in trouble. So I’d have to say that one of the main things was everyone bringing up how I used to be the light to everyone and how I’d always make everyone happy and that they missed who I really was. And then I’d have to say the final tip on the iceberg was seeing a grown man cry.

Joanie Sigal:
You are listening to The Addiction Podcast – Point of No Return. For more information on the podcast or to reach out, if you have a story you would like to share with us, go to our Facebook page by the same name, or you can email us at theaddictionpodcast@yahoo.com or go to our website, theaddictionpodcast.com, or call us at 727-314-7080. And please remember to subscribe to our podcast wherever you listen to podcasts and give us a five-star review.

Joanie Sigal:
Sometimes, the hardest thing about getting someone into recovery is getting them to agree to treatment. Bobby Newman, a certified drug counselor with 30 years experience and an over 85% success rate as an interventionist, has created a series of 12 videos that you can use right now to learn every step to get your loved one to agree to treatment. Call 1-833-918-0008 today and say the word podcast to get a 10% discount, or go to newmaninterventions.com and type in the word podcast for a 10% discount. This service comes with a free one-hour consultation with Bobby.

Lexie Johnson:
Uncle Brian. So I had missed, I think it was one of each of his sons’ birthdays, and he was talking about how he wanted his aunt, their Aunt Lexie, even though I’m their cousin, I’m so much older that they just call me Aunt Lexie, to see them graduate, and then he started crying, and I was like, “Wow. Okay. That’s crazy.” I was like, “I want to be there. I want to be there for everyone.” And I’m a huge family person. You usually always see me at every family event. If I miss one, I’m either dying or I got really lost. So yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
And that’s what Brian said. He said that was his first clue, is that you were missing some of these events that he knew were important to you.

Lexie Johnson:
Mm.

Joanie Sigal:
Right, Brian? I mean, what would cause that? Yeah.

Brian Vaillancourt:
Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Yeah. Sorry. I put the camera on you there, Brian. Okay, cool. Oh, Tammy, yes, ma’am?

Tammy Johnson:
So I think also, I don’t know if Lexie remembers this, but my grandmother, which is her great-grandmother, the letter, after she read her letter, it was like, you could just see Lexie go, “Okay. I really have to go.”

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. This was a letter from the great-grandmother who was not sick?

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah.

Lexie Johnson:
Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Yeah. What did she say, Lexie? What do you remember that she said?

Lexie Johnson:
I don’t really remember per se every details, but I do remember… So I remember when I walked in… Because I looked horrible, like anorexia horrible, like skin and bones. And I remember when I walked in, she’s trying to put forth a front, but I could see it in her face when she saw me like, “What happened to my great-granddaughter?” So that was an eye-opener for me. But everyone basically said along the same lines, and I heard it from my mom and I heard it from my grandma and I heard it from my uncle and I heard it from her, and I was just like, “I need to do this.” I was like, “I need to do this for them, if not for me, but I also need to do it for me.” And I think that’s one of the reasons why it was so successful because that’s not who I was.

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Lexie Johnson:
And I have no problem. In fact, my friend will say to me sometimes, she’s like, “Why do you always have a smile on your face when you’re telling your story?” I’m like, “Because I’m alive. Because I’m here today. It’s something to be proud of. I’m here. I’m proud of it.” Yeah. So it was kind of like, she’s getting old and I knew she didn’t have a whole lot of time left. And if she’s asking me for help on top of everyone else, it’s like, I only have a window this big.

Joanie Sigal:
Mm-hmm.

Lexie Johnson:
And so, I was kind of like, “I’m going to do this for all of them.” Yeah.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood. The right decision. So you went to Narconon Arrowhead, is that correct? Okay. Tell us just a little bit about the program. And most notably, I think, is when during the program that you kind of knew that you turned the corner and that now it was going to be possible for you to be clean and sober?

Lexie Johnson:
So I would have to say I was not a unique case, but a unique case because I walked in going, “I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do this for myself and my family.” So I never really pitched a hissy fit to anyone per se, because some people do because they’re not there by choice.

Joanie Sigal:
Right.

Lexie Johnson:
And so, I was just going through the steps, and it was kind of cool because as I kept going, I started to see myself come back. And I remember calling my mom at one point and I was like, “Aren’t you happy to have your old Lexie back?” And I’m giggling and laughing and cracking jokes and doing all of that stuff. But I’d have to say, when you get to the very end of the program and you’re writing… Well, actually back it up a step.

Lexie Johnson:
So there’s a part of the program where you are going through the people in your life and figuring out if they’re good or bad. That was kind of like an eye-opener of like, “Okay. So this is my circle. This is where I need to keep my circle.” And it wasn’t hard to cut out my ex because it goes way further than just the drugs and stuff like that. So I was like, “Okay. I got this.” And then when I got to the part where you write down the things that you did wrong, I struggled with that, because one thing about when you date that type of person is, the lines get blurry because you might not have actually done anything wrong, but they’ve master manipulated you into thinking that you did wrong, and that’s why they are the way they are.

Lexie Johnson:
And I would say that was really rough. It was really rough for me because I was like, “I don’t know what I did wrong and what I didn’t do wrong,” and it took me a while to sort out what’s actually my burden, and not the burden I took on from him. And once I-

Joanie Sigal:
That’s a very good point. That’s a very good point, Lexie. Yeah. Sorry.

Lexie Johnson:
Yes.

Joanie Sigal:
Sorry to interrupt. Keep going.

Lexie Johnson:
No, that’s okay. I was just going to say, writing those I think definitely… You feel like a whole new person. You feel so much lighter because everything you ever did wrong before you started doing drugs, while you’re doing drugs, you don’t have to carry it around anymore, and I thought that was pretty cool. I still write them to this day.

Joanie Sigal:
That’s awesome. I think it’s a good practice. Tammy, when during the program did you realize that this was going to work and you were going to get your daughter back?

Tammy Johnson:
In the beginning, there was a couple of… So after Lexie went, Tyler and his mother basically harassed me.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh.

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah. So they’re like, “We’re going to go get Lexie back. Where is she?” which is the reason why I sent her so far away, because I knew. I’m like, “A, I knew 30-day program, that doesn’t actually dive into why you started drugs in the first place, is not going to help.”

Joanie Sigal:
Exactly.

Tammy Johnson:
And, “B, I knew I had to get her far away so that he couldn’t drive to her.” So in the first couple of days, they were… I mean, I still have them. I have the voicemail messages that his mother left me.

Joanie Sigal:
Why his mother?

Tammy Johnson:
Oh, she’s a druggie.

Joanie Sigal:
I mean, did she not know Tyler was addicted?

Tammy Johnson:
Oh, she’s a druggie too, so she didn’t…

Joanie Sigal:
Oh, of course.

Tammy Johnson:
It’s like a family thing over there.

Joanie Sigal:
Understood.

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah. I mean, she just left me nasty messages,-

Joanie Sigal:
I’m sure.

Tammy Johnson:
… because Lexie beforehand had some… Her father passed away when she was four, so she had some inheritance money, and he knew that she had this money. I guess that’s how I knew that there was something really wrong because, I don’t know if you know Lexie, but she’s very tight with her money. So when I saw her blow through $30,000 in one month, I was like, “Whoa. What is going on?” Yeah. Once I got her to rehab, he continued to harass me because he wanted the money, because the money is what supported their habit.

Joanie Sigal:
Mm-hmm.

Tammy Johnson:
So he’s like, “She’s my wife,” because he tricked her in one of the drunken stupors to marry him. “She’s my wife. I’m allowed to know where my wife is.”

Joanie Sigal:
Wow.

Tammy Johnson:
Just really nasty stuff. And I said, “Look, you basically almost killed my daughter.” If I didn’t find her… When she first went in, and probably after two days because you don’t have contact for the first two days, they had to send her to the hospital because she was so low in potassium that they weren’t even sure how she was standing up.

Joanie Sigal:
Wow.

Tammy Johnson:
So I think after she came back after being hospitalized and having all the IVs and everything, after a week, I could start to see a difference in her. And then after two weeks, she said to me, she’s like, “You tricked me. This isn’t a 30-day program. I’m not going to be home for summer.” For summer, I think she said, she’s like, “I’m not going to be home for summer.” She’s like, “You tricked me.” And I’m like, “You’re going to be there for as long as it takes for you to get better, and for you to get your mind right.”

Lexie Johnson:
But I wasn’t in a rush though.

Tammy Johnson:
Yeah. No, she wasn’t. She wasn’t. But her and I have this thing where we joke back and forth. It’s like…

Joanie Sigal:
I get it.

Tammy Johnson:
And that’s when I knew I had my daughter back.

Joanie Sigal:
Good.

Tammy Johnson:
So yeah, it was great.

Joanie Sigal:
That’s awesome. Diane and Brian, did she talk to you while she was in rehab?

Diane:
Yes.

Brian Vaillancourt:
Yes.

Joanie Sigal:
And when did you kind of know that, “Okay. We’ve got our Lexie back”?

Diane:
When she started asking for her goodies.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh.

Diane:
So I would go on Walmart and do whatever she wanted and just have it mailed right to there. And she would call me at least once a week just to keep me so that I knew she was okay, because it was pretty scary bringing her there, because all she did was vomit the whole way and I was so scared, but thank God to Bob. He explained what was going on, so I knew.

Joanie Sigal:
You were with them, Bobby, when they flew to Arrowhead? You were there?

Bobby Newman:
Yes, yes.

Diane:
Yes.

Bobby Newman:
I mean, that’s quite a story in and of itself, but-

Joanie Sigal:
And Lexie, you were vomiting the whole time?

Lexie Johnson:
Yeah, because I actually hadn’t had anything for a few hours.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh.

Lexie Johnson:
I mean, we did a little bit, but it wasn’t enough.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Lexie Johnson:
So I was already… Well, because that was a story and a half, and Bobby got pulled over.

Joanie Sigal:
Oh, yeah. Bobby, you got to tell us about the ticket. I mean, come on.

Bobby Newman:
It was stupid.

Lexie Johnson:
My grandmother warned him.

Bobby Newman:
Well, I’m pro-law enforcement, but not with that guy. Not that guy. At that moment, at a four-lane highway going both through eight lanes. I think it was eight lanes total. At a little bitty stretch of highway, and they got it bumped down to, I don’t even know, 50 miles an hour. I don’t even know what it was, but it was just a little stretch and I was in a hurry and it was dark. I don’t even know that you could see the speed limit signs, but…

Joanie Sigal:
Keep on justifying there, Bobby.

Lexie Johnson:
Yes.

Bobby Newman:
Small price to pay. Small price to pay. That’s all I can say.

Joanie Sigal:
Exactly. Okay. Sorry, back to you, Diane. So it was pretty rough taking her there and then… Yeah. But then she started asking you for goodies.

Diane:
Yeah. Yeah. Once she called and we cracked jokes and she said, “I need gummy bears.” Not a problem. You tell me what you want. I’ll send it to you.

Joanie Sigal:
I love it. Brian, did she call you as well from rehab?

Brian Vaillancourt:
Yeah. We basically played phone tag. Lexie would call one person. If they couldn’t answer, then she’d go to the next, then to the next, and then she was like, “Oh, somebody’s calling me back. I’ll talk to you later.”

Joanie Sigal:
Okay.

Brian Vaillancourt:
And that was-

Joanie Sigal:
Fair enough. So Lexie, if you had advice to give to any families who are listening, who maybe have a loved one that is having a substance abuse problem, what would you say to them?

Lexie Johnson:
Well, I mean, because I guess everyone’s different. But for me, it was them hitting home. Know what the person’s home is and don’t be afraid per se to cry in front of them. Be vulnerable with them, because for me, seeing that from all of my family members is… One of the biggest factors was, “Wow, I hurt.” Seeing it right in front of your face. I hurt every single one of them in their own ways. And that really helped me with making that final leap in saying, “Okay, fine. Just take me.”

Lexie Johnson:
And then once you get there, it’s not going to be easy. Rehab isn’t easy. But it’s well worth it because I’ll run into a situation today and I’m like, “Okay. Remember step three,” because I don’t know if I’m allowed to say or-

Joanie Sigal:
Sure. Oh, sure. Absolutely.

Lexie Johnson:
… go into details. So, confronting, and our objectives and, “Okay. Take those tools that you learned and use them, Lexie.” And it’s really helped because I wouldn’t be here right now, if it wasn’t for that program, doing the podcast because I don’t do public speaking and stuff like that. So I was definitely a little nervous first getting on here.

Joanie Sigal:
Well, I would just like to interrupt and say that you’re absolutely amazing, and you could stand up in front of any group and tell your story, and hugely valuable. And I understand if it makes you nervous. I’m not trying to push you into something that you’re not comfortable with. But I’m going to tell you right now, you have been absolutely perfect, all of you on the podcast today, and you could tell anybody your story and I think it would be very meaningful. So thank you for doing that.

Lexie Johnson:
Thank you for allowing me to.

Joanie Sigal:
Absolutely. Tammy, talk to the mothers. What would you say to them?

Tammy Johnson:
Oh, man. Don’t give up. There was a point where I almost gave up, and definitely don’t do it.

Joanie Sigal:
No, because you have your daughter back.

Tammy Johnson:
We do. And it was probably the third try that we had that we were trying… Well, Bobby said to me, “Well, you already paid me for the week.” So he’s like, “I might as well hang out here for the weekend, keep trying,” because, I mean, we tried. We tried almost everything and I’m like, “He just has her in his clutches.” And I think I remember telling my mom that if I have to bury her, you’re burying me too.

Joanie Sigal:
Aw.

Tammy Johnson:
And she’s like, “Don’t do that to me.”

Joanie Sigal:
Understood. Don’t give up. Best advice ever. Diane, what would your advice be to grandmothers who maybe have a grandchild who’s addicted? What would you say?

Diane:
Be stubborn like I am and just insist and try to convince them that family is it, family is everything, and I will always be there for her.

Joanie Sigal:
I love that. And Brian, you’re a big, tough guy. You weren’t afraid to cry. I like that. What kind of advice would you give to family members?

Brian Vaillancourt:
Try not to give up on them and know that your family’s going to be there to help you through anything you have.

Joanie Sigal:
Yup. That’s great. I think you guys are a great example of a family doing the right thing. Lexie, what are you doing these days? What’s your goal? Where are you headed?

Lexie Johnson:
A lot. So I’m very fortunate that my mom has her own business, so I work for my mom and I have ever since I came out of rehab. I’m currently trying to save up to buy a mini home, one that’s the size of an apartment, but so that I can start building in my name. And at the same time, I’m also going to school for nursing because I would like to be in the medical field. Ideally, if I can make it further, that would be my bigger goal. But for now, I’m just going to get my feet wet and start getting in there as a nurse.

Joanie Sigal:
I think that’s awesome. Bobby, thank you so much for arranging this podcast today. I just think that this one is going to resonate with all of our listeners.

Bobby Newman:
You’re quite welcome. And I want to thank these guys for being here and agreeing to do it and share their story. And I just have to validate each and every one of them because they made the decision and they stuck with their decision and their resolve and their intention. And it was there from the start, and that for me is, it’s an intervention as to helping families. You got to have that. This is a group thing. It’s a group effort. And so, I really, really appreciate who these people are. And I got to say, from Tammy, when I sit down with her, it was like, I knew. I said, “This is a desperate mom trying to help her daughter.”

Bobby Newman:
And I learn from every family that I help, I learn, and I learned things from these guys. And then I met Diane and I’m like, “Oh, well, she speaks for herself,” and I met Brian. He speaks for himself. And the truth is, is that each one of these guys has their own resilience. Lexie on the way, which was an overnight trip, red-eye from New York to Dallas, I knew she was miserable, but she never really complained.

Joanie Sigal:
Wow.

Bobby Newman:
Never really complained, which is really unheard of in this day and age. I mean, she’s like this old guard person. And then Diane never having flown on a plane, not only took a red-eye from, I think, Philadelphia to Dallas, then had to turn around and get on a plane right back to New York, which was… I’m like, “I don’t know.” I felt terrible for her because I thought I’m going to be asleep in about two or three hours and she’s got to fly back. So there’s a lot of toughness and resilience and a true intention, and the decision was made that this was going to turn around.

Joanie Sigal:
Well, I cannot thank you enough. And Brian, Diane, Tammy, you guys totally… What’s the word? You are the epitome of a family caring and doing whatever it takes to help your loved one. And Lexie, all the best of success to you. And I’m just saying, you could do this as a job if you wanted to be a public speaker. And that’s the other thing, is like, I appreciate you guys being willing to share this because so often, when a family has a loved one who’s addicted, they don’t want to talk about it and they don’t want anybody to know. You guys are not afraid to ask for help, and that’s huge. Yes. Lexie, go ahead.

Lexie Johnson:
I would just like to add, Bobby, you’re going to be forever part of the family, because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here today. If my mom didn’t get in touch with you… Because, like my mom had mentioned, I went to the hospital the next day.

Bobby Newman:
Oh wow.

Lexie Johnson:
And the doctor had said to me, “I don’t know how you walked in here,” and I turned around to her and I said, “That’s because I’m a trooper,” and she started laughing. But if he hadn’t gotten me when he did, who knows what would’ve happened in the next 24 to 48 hours? So I will be forever grateful for you, Bobby.

Bobby Newman:
Thank you.

Joanie Sigal:
I love it. Thank you all.

Bobby Newman:
Thank you.

Joanie Sigal:
Okay. I am probably more excited about this podcast than I have been about any in a very long time. We typically schedule these podcasts out weeks in advance, but I’m going to move this one up because it is so impactful. And if you have a loved one who is addicted, you need to watch and listen to this podcast maybe over and over again. And if you really want help, you need to contact Bobby Newman. I will put his phone number up. I will put his contact information up on the video.

Joanie Sigal:
If you listen, we talk about him in the middle because he also advertises with us and, yeah, you’re going to want to contact Bobby. So thank you so much for listening. We’ll be back again next week with another interview, and have a good one.

Speaker 1:
You have been listening to The Addiction Podcast – Point of No Return. For more information, reach out to us on Facebook or go to www.theaddictionpodcast.com. Our email is theaddictionpodcast@yahoo.com.